HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I have always loved the symbolism of a New Year.
the opportunity of
~a New beginning~
This year holds more symbolism and hope for me than ever before!
As you continue to read the upcoming posts you will likely be surprised and confused by that last statement many many times,
because this year began as I was recovering from a complete hysterectomy.
I have lived over 20 years with a disease that has gone un-diagnosed, mis-diagnosed, and at times dismissed all together.
As I have lived this process,
living with endometriosis,
I have learned that my story is not all that uncommon.
Endometriosis is a painful, chronic disease
that affects AT LEAST 6.3 million women and girls in the US,
1 million in Canada,
and millions more worldwide
according to The Endometrosis Association
Endometriosis is a painful, chronic disease
that affects AT LEAST 6.3 million women and girls in the US,
1 million in Canada,
and millions more worldwide
according to The Endometrosis Association
The majority live without an accurate diagnosis and for many women, when they are diagnosed it is too late. A diagnosis coming after an average of 20 years is more common than not.
I am 39.
I have not had children.
I absolutely LOVE children,
and have dreamed of one day having my own.
That dream, the way I envisioned it, has died.
BUT, the story is not over......
in many ways it is just beginning!!!
"Just like after every night comes a new day
and after darkness comes light,
after a painful death comes new life."
Author Unknown
In the upcoming posts I will be recounting a part of my life that I have not shared with many people.
Sure, those closest to me know bits and pieces.
Some have even witnessed the effects that it has had on my life in various forms,
but even for some that have walked along side me, this will be a surprise.
I know that as I take time to recall the last 20+ years of my life
(more than HALF of my life)
and record it for all to see,
I will uncover pieces that I have been too fearful of exposing even to myself.
.
The pain I have experienced has been
covered up,
shut away,
repressed,
projected
and ignored
So why share it?
Why now?
.....because with death comes new life.....
I have grieved the loss of my dream.
At times, I wondered if there would ever come a time of laughter.
It has been a long, dark, lonely road....
but with the death of the dream I envisioned, new dreams I never could have imagined have been born!!!
and if I only would have known that this death really would bring new life and freedom like it has,
the decision would have been so much easier.
So I share my story to bring hope to someone else walking that dark, lonely road
My pain that was covered up. shut away.
repressed, projected and ignored,
has been replaced with
freedom, light, truth, honesty, acknowledgement and love.
I recently heard something that shook me, literally shook me, to the core.
(the speaker was talking about her job as an adviser to professionals who counsel individuals who have suffered trauma)
I don't have the words verbatim but I will do my best
.....It's like me, being afraid of the dark, grabbing a pitchfork and a lantern, and leading someone THROUGH THE DARK to conquer their fear.....
If only I can be that courageous....
___________________________________________
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